When Bad Kids Happen To Good Parents

I have said in previous posts not to feel guilty because have made the choice to work.  In doing so, you don’t always get to be home when the kids get off the bus, so of course you worry about what they are getting into when you are not at home.  In the end, many working women blame themselves when the kids get into trouble, not only do we blame ourselves, we are also blamed by the media.  So should you beat yourself up if this happens?

I say no! Regardless of how great a job you do as parents, you cannot and don’t control everything about your child.  This is why you sometimes hear the phrase, “He is the black sheep of the family.”  You can have several children, use the same value system for all, and one may not be the person you hoped for.  So here are some things that you can control while at work.

  1. Have rules regarding television, how much and what they watch.  Use your channel blocker.
  2. Control the use of the computer, install safe eyes, or some other parental control software
  3. Establish rules regarding when and which friends can come over especially when you are not home.
  4. If you have childcare at home, have them understand, respect and reinforce your rules.
  5. Enable them to develop interests outside of school, and participate in a sport and other extracurricular activities
  6. Give them a firm foundation in your religion beliefs

With the above things in mind, you are ensuring that you do your part to keep them safe and occupied.  Does this mean that they will grow up to be the productive, considerate adult you have raised, no!

No matter how well you do all the above, you still have to contend with influences of friends, television, the sexual culture we live in, and the personality of the child.  I truly believe that nature and nurture are not tightly coupled.  Both play an integral role in who your child will grow to become.

So keep trying and doing your best.  However if in the end, if your tree does not bear the fruit that you expected, just know that it’s not because you were a working mom.  Stay at home moms have errant kids too.  As the heading states, bad kids can happen to good parents!

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